Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
