yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize