you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize