I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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