So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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