Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
