Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
