Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
