Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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