I am puke
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize