woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
