brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
