My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
