I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize