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I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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