it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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