Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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