Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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