remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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