Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
only you would photoshop your dick
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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