It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
