Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
