I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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