Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
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Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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