Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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