He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
