she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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