there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
