I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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