you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize