So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
