Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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