Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize