Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
