He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
