How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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