We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
