Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
do nipples grow back?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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