Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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