I didn't shave. On purpose
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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