Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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