no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
