If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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