I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
