So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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