Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
