I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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