Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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