I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
