absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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