I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
