my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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