You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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