I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've blown a few things in my day
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
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I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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