But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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