do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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