Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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