Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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