i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
