I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
