got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
