Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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