His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
