y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Randomize
