so that wasnt chicken after all
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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