as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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