I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
