no, he came in my armpit
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize